Second dates are more important than the first date, read why

We put so much energy into first dates. We chat on apps, exchange witty texts, and eventually (hopefully), meet in person, but the truth is the second is even much more important.


The thing is, first dates usually aren’t amazing … and they’re not heinous either. They’re … something in the middle. And because we’re not totally swept off our feet, we’ll often just shrug our shoulders and move on without planning to meet again. If you’re not sure about a person, why waste another two hours with him? Well, here’s the reason: Turns out that guys who are serious about finding love are willing to put in that extra time.


It’s also the second date where shit gets real and you figure out if the person is worth pursuing. “Meeting up again allows you both to get past the generic surface stuff, and research suggests that the more you interact, the more your conversation matters,” says Daniel McFarland, PhD, a professor of sociology and organizational behavior at Stanford University. Plus, you may need some extra time to feel a spark … and truthfully, sparks don’t matter all that much anyway. Exclusive data from OkCupid shows that 79 percent of guys would still pursue a relationship with someone they thought was great even if they didn’t feel an immediate spark. “There’s such a myth of instant fireworks, but the brain system that governs romantic love can be woken up at any time. You might feel that attraction at the beginning, or it might happen after a couple of dates or even after years of being friends,” Fisher confirms.
So that’s why you want to get to that second date. And besides, second dates are fun! Sixty-one percent of single guys and 70 percent of single women are more excited by a second date than by a first date, according to the Singles in America survey. So go for round two. To up your odds, here are some science-backed ways to increase your chances of scoring that second date.

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