The weird world of romance movies often makes obsession sound oddly romantic. But the truth is… Obsession isn’t cute. It’s not charming. It’s terrifying, and it often means that the man in question is more likely to wear your skin than he is to just be a plucky, adorable husband.
The problem with a lot of people that are obsessed or are involved with obsessed people is that they don’t recognize obsession for what it really is. If you notice these signs about your partner, it’s not love. It’s obsession, and it’s something you need to run away from:
- He knows things about you that you never told him.
Does he know where you were with friends, despite you never telling him? If he’s regularly stalking your Facebook or reading your emails without your knowledge, it’s obsession.
- He’s tried to intimidate other guys to keep them away from you.
Sometimes, guys are overt about this. Other times, the only reason you’ll know is because the guys he tried to “scare off” will approach you in private or will all suddenly bail. If he’s doing this, you need to stay away from him. It’s clear he’s looking to control you, and that is never an indicator of love.
- He pays a lot, and I mean a LOT, of attention to you
If he’s sending you daily love notes, calling you all the time, and basically trying to monopolise your time, it may not just be infatuation. If you notice other things here mentioned on this list, it’s obsession.
- He doesn’t seem to take no for an answer.
If you’ve repeatedly told him that you’re not interested, but he doesn’t seem to get it, he could be a douche. If he keeps trying, despite months of disinterest, he might be obsessed.
- If you tried leaving him, he tried to make it impossible for you to leave.
Yep, this is obsession and abuse. You may want to get the police involved at this point. It may save your life.
- You feel like you’re suffocating around him.
He’s decided that he must get you, he must be near you, and he must treat you a certain way. You feel trapped because he doesn’t seem to feel like he’ll be OK without you. It’s surprisingly scary and smothering to be obsessed over.
- He’s unnaturally jealous.
If he gets explosive and snippy when he hears you talking to other guys, it’s obsession. Love isn’t always that jealous, you know!
- If you think about it, he’s actually quite delusional.
Most of the stuff he’s thinking doesn’t make sense and if it does, it does so in a warped, weird way. This is a sign he’s delusional and obsessive about you, rather than actually into you.